


nessus;

by bloodynargles



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: :c, Angst, F/M, Grief/Mourning, after forsaken, no but, shes just sad, so shes not on a fuckin RAMPAGE, soft boy y did u ahve to go!!!!!!, soft sobs, thea isn't The Guardian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 04:38:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16866280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodynargles/pseuds/bloodynargles
Summary: The angular edges of the stone on Nessus clashes with her softness, the red leaves that fall remind her of the war that had been fought here; of just who fought it. Here.





	nessus;

**Author's Note:**

> losing sleep / disfigure

Maybe it calms her, settles the war inside her body, mind trying to make sense of everything while her heart is screaming. Aching for something she can no longer reach, _someone_. She's sure that, like everything else that fades away over time, her memories of him will get tied to an object, a place, a melody or when the sunlight breaks through the clouds in the morning, the soft orange glow it produces filing in through the slats in her blinds. One day, if she lives long enough, he'll just become a shadow that she can't quite place. They'll tell stories of times that she was there to witness but one day she will listen like its the first time she's heard of it. Maybe that chokes her now but one day she's going to be able to _breathe_ and somehow, as much as she longs to go back in time and say everything she wanted to, she can't wait.

 

The angular edges of the stone on Nessus clashes with her softness, the red leaves that fall remind her of the war that had been fought here; of just _who_ fought it. Here. Whispers blow through the trees, the faint noise that used to lull her to sleep in his arms just a memory that will fade with the others. Things he left behind, the conflux that was attuned to Exo programming, the AI that has two personalities but still gets a little stuffy when people mention his name. The Cayde unit. _Home_.

But that's gone.

 

She has lost friends before. Luna-12 in a mission that still takes her breath away to this day, a few warlocks whose names have escaped the barrier of time, someone who plagues her dreams, their heavy hand pressing against her shoulder the only memory that she still retains. Olivia, the Red War tore her from the world before her feet ever got to touch the ground. The nightmare that follows her from that night, that quiet _quiet_ night beyond the City's walls. The red blood that stained her blue hands, the palm that the human hunter had clasped over her own mouth in a desperate attempt to muffle the sounds of her rugged breaths. The gunfire, the tremor in Olivia's voice as she begged her to _leave_ , leave her there. Alone. The seconds that felt like years before the hunter had pressed what little ammunition she had left into her hands, the unspoken promise to live through this hell. To come out the other side, if only to tell the Vanguard where she lay. The sound of her feet hitting the rocky terrain below her as she ran, the small cuts littering her fingers stinging as she held her ghost close to her chest in an attempt to draw strength from something she hadn't heard speak since before the Tower had fallen.

She would wake breathless, sweat falling down her forehead, hands searching for something solid to grip onto. Sometimes his blue orbs would be staring at her, hand outstretched lazily in her direction – other times the bed would be empty and her chest would tighten, drawing out the panic within her and setting it on her fragile state like hungry wolves on the flesh of a fresh kill. There had been a lot of the latter recently. Except that side of the bed was exactly the way she had left it before sleep had taken her, and not with the rest of the sheets shoved in her direction as someone tired and feeling unnecessarily destructive had left them.

 

Maybe this place calms her because its the only place where the sheer amount of grief he left behind doesn't consume her. The beauty that can be observed from the large branches high up in the canopy allows her mind to wander onto other things, meditation achieved through shaky breaths and held with the thought that he would never want her world to stop just because he had. She knows, at least, that years and decades from now when his touch has faded from her skin, the sound of his laugh is a somewhat distant memory, and her grief has settled into its new place with all the other holes in her heart. She knows that she'll come back here and walk along the ledges and dirt paths that litter Nessus and be able to hear his voice in the whispers that blow through the crimson trees.

 

She hopes that at least then, her hands wont shake at the thought of someone that the universe has lost.

**Author's Note:**

> iiiiiiim takin a break from trying to write cayde cause i literallty cant lmao
> 
> so have illaethea instead
> 
> :c


End file.
